Me & the @wallstreetjournal: What cards never say on Mother’s Day
Mamas of the world, this one’s for you.
(if you want to read what other moms are saying, check out my Contact or The Mama pages, because some commenters are more on the ball than I am)
I found it in a wonderful book called, Brave New Family, which is a collection of all Chesterton’s essays on family. Not sure which one, though!
Love the G.K. Chesterton quote about “rearing and ruling the living beings of the future is a servile task suited to a silly person.” I have tried to find the quote and can not. What is it from?
Thanks (I think!), Carolyn. I’ll have to check it out.
LOVED your WSJ article! Saved it because I wanted to tell you about my daughter (Lynn Bowen Walker….graduate of Stanford) ‘s book “Queen of the Castle, 52 weeks of encouragement for the uninspired, domestically challenged or just plain tired homemaker” about the same subject. Her take is the same as yours (but perhaps more humorous!)(sorry). Though a couple of years old, it’s still available on Amazon. Check it out. I still have an extra copy, I’d be happy to send to you, if you’d like.
Amy,
Great Article! My sister in law shared this with me and it was called to her attention by her 88 year old grandmother. She and I are both stay at home mothers of little girls. Between us we’re raising three little girls (13 months, 3 years, and 7 years) I passed your article along to my own mother (a SAHM for 30 years)
This is one I will be printing out and gluing into my “Motherhood” journal — a journal I’ve kept since becoming a mom with letters to my daughters and articles/poems/comic/clippings about motherhood and letting them know how much of a balancing act it really is. Thank you!
Sincerely,
MaryLea
aka Pink and Green Mama
You’ve summed it better than I, Lily.
I loved your article in the WSJ! I read it, cried a little, passed it onto my husband over breakfast, and then saved it and gave it to my in-laws to read. One of the lines I love, which I’m always thinking about and wondering why the rest of the world doesn’t get this, was: “…motherhood (which arguably is the quintessential act of femininity)…”! Yes! I’ve often wondered how the word “FEMINISM” in our culture means “becoming more like a MAN”. Thank you for this!
Great article, especially the notion that our culture will not provide affirmation. I love being a wife, mom, volunteer and career woman. I am unapologetic about employing an amazing nanny, gardner and cleaning service. I have no problem earning the respect of men with whom I work, and I have a fantastic relationship with my husband and three kids. Once I learned to ignore the naysayers, (including the ones in my traditional family), I started to relax and love my life. There is no one best way to be a mom. If there were, we all love our kids enough to do it. By affirming different choices, we teach our daughters and sons to make thoughtful decisions rather than conform to some ideal that doesn’t produce happiness.
Great article!
My 16 year old daughter feels the pressure to launch a professional career when, like your daughter, she would most like to eventually marry and have a bunch of kids and be their mother most of the day. Her biology and spirit fight with the cultural value system daily, and I see that it is beginning to be stressful for her as she considers college and answers innocent questions about “what would you like to do after college?” Thank you for your article. I’m placing it under her pillow this Mother’s Day.
I am from Berkeley, and therefore was at times confronted about “equal rights”. I agreed that they should be equal, so I would then ask if be given equality by having the joy of bearing a child, just as a starter. If that is not possible, help me to become important in some balancing way, perhaps as “the Man” in one’s house. Surprise? My female “equal rightser” had never thought of it that way, but was unlikely to modify her demands.
Dear Amy,
Thanks for your piece in the wall Street journal today. You made my day.
I have experienced the “oh, you don’t work?” comments many times. Still not sure of a witty reply, but I am working on it. What your wrote (or rather wrote that Chesterton wrote) about “making men” will inspire me to come up with something!
Take care and happy mother’s day,
heidi
Amy,
Thank you so much for this article in The WSJ. I feel this prejudice within my own family. My own mother treats me differently than she treats my sister, who is a professional and a mother as well. I’ve heard my mother tell my sister that she is “amazing” because she has chosen to work and get a nanny, while she tells me that I am just doing what she did, which is stay at home to raise children. My father, however, is very respectful of my decision, which is surprising to me because he would have loved to see me “go out an conquer the world”, as he used to say. He tells me that raising a child is the most important job there is. I made this decision to sacrifice my career because I felt that my son needed me and that it was best for him to have me at home to educate him and nuture him, especially since he is still so young. Perhaps later I’ll decide to go back to work, but for now I have a need to be home with him and make sure that whenever he needs me, I will be available. As a result, he is confident, smart, well educated and happy. I have learned to consider this my own personal reward for choosing to stay at home, since I know I’m doing a good job at the job I have chosen to do. Thank you for your article. I am going to e mail it to my mother asap!
Love this, Amy. Something I’ve discussed often with my friends. It’s so important, talking about this, understanding it, making it possible for the next generation of mothers to be able to mother without being criticized for it.
Also, Chesterton? Tolkien? Mother Teresa? MLK? Dang, I love you.