May 6 / wholemama

You know you are raising little kids alongside teens when…

…the little boy wants to ‘pound’ your fist rather than kiss you goodnight.

…the little ones know all the words to the Shiny Toy Gun’s rendition of Major Tom

…the little ones know when to close their eyes during particularly riveting James Bond scenes

…the little boy can’t understand why he isn’t allowed to play Assassin’s Creed

…you regularly allow the little ones to stay up late, eat brownies right before bed, and rarely brush their teeth. Ever.

…the little ones ask to check their email

…the five-year-old can’t read, but knows how to spell ‘Hulu’ and ‘Gilligan’s Island’ perfectly

…the little ones can hardly fold a washcloth when at the same age the older ones did the dishes by themselves. And mowed the yard.

…the little ones refuse to stay with any babysitter who doesn’t live inside their four walls

…the little ones aren’t bothered at all by your two 100+ pound Bernese Mountain dogs, while the older boys used to cry when visiting families with hamsters

…the little ones feel jipped if they cannot have the privileges you gave your oldest when she turned 13

…the little ones share a Coke almost every night…a once-a-month treat when the older ones were their age

…you make Pillsbury orange cinnamon rolls and everyone cheers that Mommy baked something homemade

…the older ones reprimand you for allowing little boy to talk like that or little girl to throw that fit but you’re too tired to care. Plus, brattiness is funnier now

…your blood pressure, which used to rise when the kids said the word ‘stupid’ now barely bobbles when the littler ones say ‘freaking’

…you have completely given up on telling them to keep their feet off the furniture, to eat only at the table, to eat their veggies, or to bathe

…you barely break a sweat when little boy shoots big brother in the eye with an Airsoft gun, altho you never allowed the older boy to so much as point a water pistol at his stuffed animals

…when the big boys wrestle the little boy, your only words of warning are, “Don’t kill him. Not tonight. Lost is on.”