The Myth of Self-Esteem
Nurture Shock’s chapter on praise offers perhaps the most boat-rocking information of all:
The Self-Esteem Myth
Perhaps the biggest finding Bronson and Merryman illuminate is the work of Dr. Roy Baumeister. Results of self-esteem studies from 1970 to 2000 wildly vascillated or were inconclusive, prompting the Association of Psychological Studies to ask Dr. Baumeister to review the literature involved. He did so and concluded that self-esteem research was, according to Bronson, ‘polluted with flawed science.’ He concluded that high self-esteem didn’t lead to improved grades, or career achievement Neither did it reduce alcohol use or violence. Baumeister calls his findings, “the biggest disappointment of my career” and has moved over to Dweck’s side, recently publishing an article showing that for college students struggling in a class, ‘esteem-building praise cause[d] their grades to sink further.” Further, he concludes that parental focus on their child’s self-esteem is related to their own pride in their child’s accomplishments, saying that “when they praise their kids, it’s not that far from praising themselves.”
Question: Have you bought into the self-esteem myth? How can this new research impact your parenting?
Next time: How lost sleep leads to higher obesity, harms emotional well-being, and lowers IQ points. Parents of grouchy kids tune in:)
From my experience as a teacher and mother, I would agree with the author. It seems that once a student is praised they stop trying. I used to think that seeking the approval of others was dysfunctional, but at least in my case success and achievement came from it.
The finding reported would also, support the notion the “everyone gets a trophy” is a bad idea. Unfortunately, we have an entire generation of kids that think they are winners, when in reality, maybe not so much.
I am all for a positive motivation tempered with honest reality checks:)
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