5 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism

In my last post I talked about what perfectionism is.  We concluded:  PERFECTIONISM IS BAD.

Here are a few ways to arm ourselves against this particular form of self-sabotage:

1.  Call it what it is: “That’s just Perfectionism speaking,” is better than saying, “I will never be able to do this right, why try?”  Call it a name and make a game out of recognizing the times it creeps into your thought-life or your speech.  I see my Perfectionism as a dour old professor who is never pleased, no matter how good my work is.  By putting a name  and face to him (I call him Dr. Baxter), I can take him less seriously, like the dusty ole’ curmudgeon he is.

2.  Be willing to make a mess: Anne Lamott, in her book on writing, Bird by Bird, suggests the concept of what I will rename, a Crummy First Draft (CFD).  Whether your perfectionism haunts your writing, your art, your job search, or your fitness routine, be willing to do it poorly in the beginning.  Even seasoned writers get clogged up when deadlines and pressures mount.  Put pencil to paper and–whatever the initial outcome–get scribbling.  It’s the best route to clearing the path to action–and creativity.

3.  Play in the Sandbox: I learned this concept from my own fantastic coach, Patrick Prindle, at Integral Coaching.  When faced with a task that feels hard or overwhelming, diffuse the difficulty by telling yourself you are just going to sit down for a couple of minutes and ‘play in the sandbox’ with your idea.  Who can fail at play, right?  Pull out a huge piece of white paper and your child’s colored markers and start brainstorming.  Put your main writing ideas in purple and your supporting thoughts in red under these.  Use shapes if that is more helpful.

Or put your comfiest workout clothes on and tell yourself that you’re just going outside to take a walk.  Once you’re out there, you might find yourself fitting in a few intervals of running.  By the next time you go to workout, the hurdle between you and exercising won’t seem so insurmountable.

4.  Adopt the phrase, “A ‘B’ job leads to an ‘A’ experience:” Again, Dr. P’s genius at work.  One example:  I was planning a huge out-of-school party for my kids and their friends.  Immediately after telling them I was going to do it, I felt the pressure of the ‘perfect’ party starting to choke the fun out of it for me.  Adopting this mantra completely changed the way I saw the party and it ended up being a joy to plan and, ask my kids, a pretty darned great party.

5.  Be Kind to Yourself: Perfectionists by nature are rarely, if ever, happy with themselves.  No amount of effort has value unless it ends in a fantastic end product.  Even then, the perfectionist finds it next to impossible not to criticize their best work.  As such, they seldom get the satisfaction that comes from doing something well.  In this, be kind to yourself.  Learn from each attempt.  Focus on what you did right and do it more often.  Minimize what you did wrong;  you’ll do better next time…unless you get stuck here.

I hope these ideas can jump start you in 2010.  If you have a great idea you’d like to share, please do and I’ll post them.