Le Book: C’est Fini

Months ago I wrote on my calendar:  July 30–Book done.

Little did I know how prescient that statement would be.

Emily, my first ‘book’ is definitely going to be done July 30th.

The other book, the one with words and pages and lots of mistakes?  Not so much.

When I set the deadline, I had no idea Emily would be getting married on that date.  I just pulled a arbitrary date out of thin air, choosing the 30th instead of the 31st because I like even numbers.  I figured it gave me enough time after the end of the school year  to complete the writing, and enough time before the new school year got started to get it edited.

July 30th.  Sounded so random at the time.

In my last post, I wrote about ‘finishing.’  As you may or may not recall, I mentioned that finishing isn’t my strong suit.  I told you that this whole ‘graduating’ and ‘being done’ thing kind of snuck up on me, how I wasn’t ready for it, how it had taken me by surprise.

In this post, I will tell you:  I think I’m ready.

For the past few weeks I’ve watched as Emily has planned the wedding from top to bottom.  She found a venue.  She designed her invitations.  She sent out Facebook invites.  She found a dress on sale.  She found a photographer.  She planned her flowers.  She found an decorative arch on Craig’s List.  She bought table decor at Dollar Tree.  She bought ribbon at Hobby Lobby.  She bought a dress for her sister (the flower girl), shoes for all the girls, rented the tuxes for the boys.  She’s met with the pastor, picked up the marriage license, made sure my dad (who is officiating) brings his ordination papers. She’s moved most of her things over to Paul’s apartment.

Except for notarizing the consent form giving her permission to marry, she has not ‘needed’ me for any part of this.  It seems I’ve worked myself out of a job.

Which, I keep reminding myself, has been my goal since October, 1993.

I probably have that written on a calendar somewhere, too.  ‘Work self out of job.’

Wonder what the date on that one is.

Anyway, folks, this Saturday, at approximately 7 in the pm, I am finishing my book.  That’s right.  Like all books, it took a lot of work to get her ready for publication.  For one thing, she took YEARS to write.  I’m a slow learner, you see, and had several false starts.  Somewhere around year nine, I developed a terrible case of writer’s block.  I petered out more than once, cried on a regular basis, tore up whole PAGES and threw them in the trash.  Started over once or twice, sought the counsel of writer’s who’d gone before me…some who set me straight, some who made me crazy.  I had to learn from trial and error how to tool a sentence, had to figure out which rhythms worked and which didn’t, and had to get really good at cut and pasting.

I’ve heard writers say that, at some point in the writing process, you have to quit with the i-dotting and the t-crossing.  There has to be an end to the polishing.  Eventually you have to quit doubting your word choices and stop wondering if you should have started the book with that particular hook and slam the manuscript shut and be done with it.  You have to wrap it in brown paper and tie it with a piece of string, box it up and send it to your editor.  You have to close your eyes and open the mailbox, and shove it in.

It’s harder than it sounds.

That baby’s been attached to you at the hip for a long time.

Letting go feels a bit like the first time you walked your dog without a leash.  On a busy Friday night.  Next to the highway.

It’s an exercise in faith some might say.  Maybe it is faith.  Who knows.

What I do know is that Saturday, my book is done.  For better or for worse, she’s on her way to the editor.

It remains to be seen if the publishing house will bite or not.  These negotiations get complicated and take time.  Who knows how long it will be before I hear back from them?

Ah well, in the final analysis, it doesn’t really matter.

To me, she’ll always be a best seller.